Today is a day that changed my view of what I imagined my life to be. It started out a very normal day, then around 10am I got a call from my doctor saying I needed to come in today to go over my ultrasound results. I made an appointment for 12:30 hung up the phone and went into a hysterical panic. I soon realized I wasn't going to make it two hours without knowing why she wanted to discuss my ultrasound. I called back and asked if I could come in right now. They agreed but said I would have to wait awhile. I was out the door in 5 minutes thanks to Helen being here with the kids. All the way to the doctor I was imagining the worst. I've had three perfect children and knew that my luck had run out. I imagined so many terrible things that by the time I arrived I was totally a mess. I kept my sunglasses on in the waiting room while I waited another 30 minutes. The longest ever. When The nurse called me back she insisted on taking my blood pressure which I new would only cause concern. Luckily I talked her out of recording the dangerously high number on my chart. I had temporarily composed myself when the doctor finally came and talked to me. She apologized for putting me through such stress but said there was no other way to do it. She said I don't really have bad news for you just a concern. They found a abnormality on the babies upper lip on the ultrasound looking like a possible cleft lip and or pallet. Normally I would be devastated but by this time I felt relief rush through my body. I felt so happy the baby would live and had no terrible condition. I need to go to a specialist for a second opinion on August 5th. I feel like that is going to be the longest 2 weeks of my life. So many thoughts and concerns are going through my head. I've felt mixed feelings all day of total sadness for this deformity to gratitude that we live in a time and place that so much can be done for this baby. I'm grateful he is coming to a family who has the resources and is willing to do anything possible to give this baby a normal life. So I don't know anything definite yet just have to wait for the next appointment, and gearing up mentally for what this might mean for our future.
This isn't a picture of our baby, just another ultrasound picture of what they might of seen on the ultrasound.
9 comments:
This post got me so nervous!! By the time you said it was a possible cleft palate...I felt a little releived! I'm so sorry, it is so hard to imagine anything being wrong with a precious new baby, but hopefully it will be very minor. Let us know what the specialist says!
By the way, I just wanted to say congratulations on the move...and i LOVE your hair cut!
sorry to make anyone feel stressed with this post. It was all so fresh, and I was capturing the feeling I had before I knew what the problem was.
You will definitely be in my thoughts and prayers over the next couple weeks. I will anxiously await the news.
Oh my gosh. You had me thinking that they saw twins or something. You really had me nervous when I got to the end. I hope all goes well. Luckly it is very treatable. But still a big deal.
Wow. What a nerve-wracking wait! I would have been hysterical too. You and your little baby are in my prayers.
I'm so sorry to hear the news. Luckily we do live in this day of age and they can do so much. We are thinking of you and your little baby! Good luck getting through these next few weeks and please keep us posted! love ya!
What a scare! I wish I could have been there to go with you. Doctors visits like that you don't want to be alone. It would be hard to find out news like that. We are blessed to live in a day and age where doctors can do so much. Is it a possiblity that it can correct over time in the womb? I hope everything goes well with your upcoming appointment. We will pray for you guys.
You captured your thoughts perfectly. One day boy number 3 will love to read that. I'm so glad it's nothing too serious. You will be in our prayers.
Beth,
I got your blog address from Camille. It was fun to see you and your cute family. I can't believe that we live in the same state! I wish you nothing but the best. Let me know when you are up in Mapleton maybe we could meet at the park and have a picnic with the kids. Hope all goes well at your next doctor visit.
Love, Angela Jamison (aka Angie)
Post a Comment