A Mother's search for sanity.

Well today has been an interesting day. I've just kinda felt emotionally unsettled lately, who knows. I think I've either having an emotional breakdown, or emotional breakthroughs. Impossible to put into words on a lighthearted blog. All I knew about today was that I needed to do something different than just drop offs, pick ups, laundry, dishes, diapers, feedings, etc, etc. How could I ever feel bored with a list that just never ends. But somehow I was (am). So I did some shopping in the morning. I picked up some scriptures for my friend Tracey who is getting baptized on Sunday(need a whole other post for that wonderful story), then Luke and I went to Target. I always know it is time to leave a store when the only thing that I can do to keep Luke in my arms is holding him upside-down. I got a few weird looks, but he just wants down so bad, and is throwing, and twisting himself out of my arms the whole time. So needless to say I wasn't really feeling refreshed after this excursion. I went home for a few hours to send Dane off on a two day hiking trip with the scouts. I have to say the timing didn't feel ideal. The idea of spending the weekend home alone with the kids was making me feel claustrophobic and irritated. I decided that getting a babysitter, and doing something was my only hope. It evolved that I went out to eat with four wonderful friends. Now this was what I needed. Adult conversation with girls who are feeling exactly like me. Thank you friends!!! This put a little fuel back in my tank to get through. So the kids did fine with the babysitters, except I noticed Lindsay tummy looked a little bloated. She admitted eating everything in sight. the kids were being watched at Jamie's house by baby sitters. I don't think the babysitters ever said no to anything the kids wanted to eat. I put her to bed with a huge tummy ache. So coming home as I pulled up to my house I noticed the front door wide open. It is around 8:00 so the door has been open for 4 hours!!! I wasn't sure I left it open, and was really creaped out. Lindsay refused to get out of the car (smart girl). I felt dumb calling 911, but I wasn't going in the house alone. I decided to ask our neighbor to walk through with me. Jim is a really nice retired guy in his 60's. He grabbed his hammer and we started walking through every room. I was embarrassed that the house was so cluttered from a couple days of not caring. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed something white following Jim, and had a quick thought that it looked like t.p. stuck to his shoe. I ignored it and kept looking around. When I turned around Jim was laughing and handed me my bra!!! Oh my gosh!!! He got my bra hooked around his ankle and was walking around with it for awhile before he noticed. Could that be more embarrassing. I couldn't believe he would hand it to me, instead of just tossing it aside. We both laughed it off, but inside I was horrified. So all was well no boogie man in the house. I'm just going to go to sleep and pretend Dane is laying by my side keeping me warm and safe. I hope I wake up tomorrow feeling refreshed! I hope I can remember how precious my kids are, and that they don't deserve a crazy mom. My search for sanity today ended well. I think when it's all said and done I do feel better.